Things of Note from Dylan's Background

Hi all:

The posts may be a little out of time order at times, as we remember things or actually now have some time to type them. Unfortunately, the Business Ctr. is only open between 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., which doesn't ever leave us vast amts. of time with a packed daily schedule.

I have left Charlie and the 2 boys for the first time this afternoon with the orders that the boys must nap. We will see what happened upon my return. We definitely have the "wild child" now with us. Veronica has told us that Dylan is only used to very small surroundings and bare minimums. He is now exploring everything, so everything needs to be touched and examined and he climbs on everything. We are also buying him a superman cape as he launches himself off the bathroom potty each time and he stands straight up on our bed and then just jumps straight off at rapid speeds. I can already envision trips to Grand View and several trips to our house by Nurse Rita!! He is fascinated by the toilet flusher so our toilet gets flushed multiple times each morning. I am sure that the hotel loves that; the water bill for our room might just exceed their daily usage for the entire hotel.

Dylan seems very comfortable with us, with no immediate separation anxiety or massive grief, which seems atypical. Although, he watches Kyle constantly and imitates or tries to do EVERYTHING that he does, whether he can or not. He also told Veronica today that he is 4 and Kyle's older brother. His language skills are amazingly well-developed. We understand very little, but he does tell Veronica a great deal using very descriptive words. He also has picked up some words that he can say fairly clearly like "mama, baba, guga (big brother), bus, beep beep, meow meow (he says that very clearly), siren, people." He can listen to words and imitate many. Charlie is picking up a little of the Chinese phrases, too. The phrase for "no" is "boo" so we have been using that alot. Because he has come from such a protected environment, he is not necessarily aware of the "social" skills when out. He had never eaten in a restaurant before, but now has been in some McDonalds and the Italian and breakfast restaurants at the hotel. His foster parents taught him many manners, so he will carefully wipe his face using a napkin. He can also use a fork, but wields it as a weapon many times. The restaurants here are very non-kid friendly, so it's all glass, China and adult silverware. He cannot dress himself, but he does know how to bath himself and clean his hair. It's very funny.

We had a very interesting and unexpected 2 days. Ms. Pan, the Asst. Orphanage Director, who brought Dylan up to us on Monday, also accompanied us back to Dalian on the 5 hr. bus ride, then met us yesterday morning to go to the Passport Office and then drove with us all day on a bus tour of the orphanage (outside only) and the City of Dalian. Because we had some one on one time with her, she slowly grew more comfortable in speaking to us and began asking Veronica many things. She also told us the following. Dylan was from a foster family that lives in a village 2 hrs. from the Dalian SWI. The village is all foster families. They are monitored both by a group at the Dalian SWI and then a group that remains on site at the foster village. Dylan's foster mother was 45 yrs. old, father was 46 yrs. old. There was one bio daughter, a younger foster brother (who is being adopted into a Spanish family very soon), and a 13 yr. old foster sister who has spina bfida. She was placed with this particular family, as her past foster family was not very caring of her. The foster family also had a small dog.

The Dalian SWI is home to abandoned children, disabled people and senior citizens. There are approx. 230 children in the Dalian SWI, 100 of who are in the care of foster parents now. Most if not all of the children are special needs children with most of them now having celebral palsy. She told us that the adoption process has changed greatly, with domestic adoption becoming more prevalent now. Domestic adoptive parents will always get primary placement of children prior to the international adoptive parents - quite interesting. Ms. Pan started her career as a nurse and then became the Asst. Director 9 yrs. ago. She told us that if we had stayed in Dalian for two more days, we could have gone into the orphange (that would have eliminated any risk of us bringing in swine flu). Because we could not stay, she invited us to visit any time in the future and she would give us a full tour. She also asked us if we would be adopting again. She watched both Dylan and Kyle closely out of the corner of her eye. It was a little unnerving as you feel that they are watching how you care for your children, especially in a stressful situation. She seemed very impressed with Kyle's development post adoption, too. She actually exchanged her email address with us, and wanted us to send pictures and she says that she will send us pictures of Dylan's bed at the orphanage etc. It was a very cool experience. We ended our day with a McDonald's lunch of all things - she and Veronica had those tasty fruit carbonated drinks that I had recommended.

It is still very difficult to get used to the constant staring and not just looks, up and down the body stares. Now, that we have two boys, we are constantly being asked (thru Veronica) if they are twins. Many want to talk to them and some want to touch them. One man even had his picture taken with us at the Forbidden City today, while his other friends laughed hysterically. Kyle is very unnerved by the entire process. He does not like strangers to begin with and it is getting him very upset, when they try to be so friendly. Dylan is actually quite shy, too, but will wave and say "bye bye."

Kyle has done quite well so far, but the trip is wearing on him a bit in terms of schedule, food and probably some jealousy. We had our first major meltdown last night due to Dylan getting his PJs on faster. He tries so hard to be the big brother, but it is tremendously hard for him to have to compete with Charlie's attention, in particular, so when Dylan is doing something that he shouldn't, Kyle will quickly regress. He is so worried that he is missing out on something. Of course, Dylan is trying to become a Daddy's boy, too. I would not expect any less. Baba is very comforting to him, although he does sleep with me at night very easily.

I don't think that I could ever live here full-time. I was laughing with Veronica today over the fact that this country is very male-dominated. The men will actually push you (a woman) right out of the way to get somewhere or do something. They will also do the same to children. They will not even hold a door for you, knowing that you have two full hands and are balancing addl. items. Itold her that doesn't really happen in the US. She said that it has been that way for 2000 yrs., but the "new" generation is trying to change that. They have alot to change!!!

We have been lucky with our health, so far, this trip. Probably because we really have primarily only eaten American type food. It is really difficult to only drink bottled water or Coke. Not a ton of options and nothing can have ice. There is juice at breakfast, but to me, it tastes like the weird, undermined smell from our hallway so I can't drink it!

I will let Charlie fill you all in more on our bus ride and trip in Dalian and the Forbidden City today. I need to go make sure that he is still alive and not taken over by the two soldiers!

p.s. The favorite toys that we have in our room are either 1) McDonald's Ice Age toys (hmmm, who figured that hard plastic toys that can be thrown or banged together was "kid friendly?!") or 2) the KFC house and wind-up chicken (we have 3 of those). Today's winning toy is the old camera that had pix in from the orphanage and foster home that we are having developed today. We will be quickly re-child proofing our house in PA with child-locks and removing all glass and breakable things. Additionally, putting away any hard toys. Also, for the Wedder cousins, I think that we have a child that might want to challenge you to some of your wrestling matches. This little one is on the move!!!!

p.s.s. We are still really only calling him Fuxu or Xu Xu ("shoe shoe" - most of the time)as he understands those names much more right now.

Signing off for now.. Chal will post more pictures later, too.